Sick and tired

I'm tired.... last night of a 120hr payperiod. I've got 1 day off and then back for 3 more night shifts. I miss my little girl, I work so much I only get to see her a few hrs a day. Although I see her everyday I'm scared one day she'll hate me for not being there when she was little. I want to work less but thats just not realistic right now, I feel like I'm missing out on the fun times, in a couple years she will be in school. I hate that my ex gets to enjoy her growing up while I work so fucking much. I deserve to be with her too, I deserve to see her wake up in the mornings, not just be able to put her to sleep when I don't work. The more I think about the situation the more I realize its bullshit. He's going to have to accept the circumstances and thats that... he wants to get lawyers involved.... bring it on.

My brother

My brother Elliot brought my niece and nephew over to visit yesterday! Evelyn got to play with her cousins and my brother showed me some video of their recent trip to CA. They only stayed an hour or so since I had to go to work but it was nice to visit and catch up. I need to go visit my other brother before school starts, he's a teacher and coaches football so he will be very busy to say the least.

Missing out

Evelyn is getting SO big! She will be 3 at the end of September and she is a solid 37 lbs! I feel like I'm missing out, I work so much. If I'm not working or sleeping I'm with her and I cherish every second I spend with her. I work way too much but its necessary right now. I look forward to the day I can be a stay at home mom, I'd even be happy working once a week. If it is meant to be it will happen, but in the mean time its still hard. I have a scrap book I started making for her when she was born and it only has 2 pages done, I love doing stuff like that but I seriously don't have the time. Despite the divorce I still see her every day(with the exception of 2 days since may, one I was out of town the other I had a medical procedure done) but it just doesn't seem like enough, I feel like I'm missing out on the fun n loving time in her life. I need to win the lottery... but that would require actually purchasing a ticket

Its been a while

Both Evey and Lucy are getting big!
Evey in her Sunday dress


Evey had a blast popping fireworks on the 4th!

My cutie!

These are the most recent pictures of Evey! She's getting so big, she will be 3 in a few months. She talks SO much. She seems to be less of a toddler and more of a little kid.... I don't want her to grow up!

Evey

It seems like she has grown so much in the past couple of months and I'm working so much I blink and she's older. She can now sing her ABC's and she sounds like a little adult when she speaks now. There is still a lot of rambling but she communicates a lot better now. Potty training is coming along slowly. She's more receptive to it but not 100% on board yet, thats fine with me it will happen when it happens. We have been out to the lake and she had a blast on the boat. I will post pictures when I get a chance. Keeping it short for now, don't have much time to write.

Little Progress

A little progress is better than no progress when it comes to potty training. I feel bad because I don't have enough time off of work to be consistent. We did it one day and went through 5 or 6 pairs of big girl underwear and a few carpet clean ups but toward the end of the day she was getting better. The next day was hectic and I just didn't have the time to follow through so for now she's back in diapers :-( At the end of may I have 3 days off in a row... maybe I will try then.

Looking for glasses

A while back Evey broke my glasses and I haven't replaced em. I'm starting to need them bc I wear my contacts WAY too much. Cost..about 300 bucks uggghhh, maybe next month. neways... I was trying on different pairs and she picks up these thick 80's yellow frames and hands them to me and says momum put yellow on.... so I humor her and flash back to the 80's.